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Getting Along With Oneself
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Each person "relates himself always according to his own interpretation of himself and of his present problem." - Alfred Adler
In facing this life task, the individual must come to terms with himself. Ask yourself the following questions:
Do you accept yourself?
Are you at peace with yourself?
Do you respect yourself?
Do you judge yourself?
Do you like yourself?
Do you believe you are good enough as you are?
Do you have an ideal image of what you might be?
Do you strive towards attainment of this ideal?
The above questions can pertain to one's physical being as much as one's personality and soul vibrational qualities.
The following are my most recent responses to the above questions (20 I 2005):
Q: Do you accept yourself?
A: Yes. Even though I'm not perfect, I recognize myself as being equally worthy of consideration within society as any other member.
Q: Are you at peace with yourself?
A: I have some regrets from errors in judgement I made when I was younger, but I have gone on to live my life in ways that hopefully balance with right action the mistakes I have made. I have more things I want to do, but if I never have the opportunity to do them, I would be okay and make the most of whatever other fate was before me.
Q: Do you respect yourself?
A: Most of the time, yes. :-)
Q: Do you judge yourself?
A: Only a little bit of the time. Most of the time there is no need. I have my principles and I act in accordance with them. By doing so, there's no need to engage in judgemental thinking. The only time it becomes necessary, I suppose, would be times when I question my principles, and view them in relationship to other ones.
For example, today I chanced upon a very dear, and long-standing friend of the family. She was wearing a coat with some fur trim. For many years, as an animal rights advocate, I would avoid physical contact with the fur because from my point of view, it is a horrible thing, a result of immeasurable cruelty. Yet, at the same time, I wanted to express my caring for this dear friend of the family who has been so kind, loyal, and wise in so many ways. So I got past my sense of reluctance to come close to the fur, and greeted her with a hug and also gave her a little kiss on the cheek, as is customary in the social circles I live within. In the process of this action, my arm brushed against the fur lining on her jacket. After the experience, I realized that I can still detest the cruel act of skinning the fur off of an innocent animal and at the same time maintain and express loving feelings for a person I care about who has not raised her consciousness about the cruelty.
By the use of the word "judge" I would interpret that to mean measure one action in comparison with another. I judged the new way of being I had moved forward with as an improvement over the past. I found my stress level lower when I gave myself permission to come in physical contact with a product of cruelty if there was a higher principle at stake, which in the above mentioned example, there was.
Q: Do you like yourself?
A: Yes. I'm happy being me.
Q: Do you believe you are good enough as you are?
A: No. There are some things about my physical health that I would like to change. I recently lost some weight, but would like to lose some more so that my pot belly turns into washboard abs. I also would like to overcome the problem of hyperparathyroidism which has caused so many problems in my life.
Q: Do you have an ideal image of what you might be?
A: Yes, but some of these are unrealistic. Others are dreams I have not fully abandoned, although action towards living them is on the backburner. Still others I am actively working towards achieving. In particular, I am especially putting emphasis on becoming more financially successful. (See
Work
).
Q: Do you strive towards attainment of this ideal?
A: Yes and no. (See answer to previous question).
The links on the left will connect you with resources that have provided me with help in the past in coming to terms with myself or are sights that are of current interest to me in my quest for personal self-improvement and actualization. Perhaps they will help you in your quest for self-improvement and actualization.
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